Samuel L. Jackson, Timothy Treadwell

Alan Kalter interrupts Dave with a few seductive words for Jennifer Lopez on the occasion of her break-up with Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs. Shortly afterwards, he starts singing some sort of ballad, when suddenly "Big Red" is shot several times. Dave, looking rather deadpan through all of this, recommends Bacitracin® ointment for Alan's multiple gunshot wounds.